Lessons Learnt…

28/Jan/2009, Chandigarh

Few days back, my sis got angry with me for one of my, I would say, nonchalant behaviors when I refused to have lunch with her because she had particular company, the one that tends to irritate me. As she had gotten angry for something that didn’t even relate to her, I didn’t see why she was angry at all! So, I sent her a usual goodnight message and as expected, I didn’t get a reply. I didn’t talk to her for last many days thinking that – “I didn’t say anything to her, why the hell is she crazy at me!” My ego was not allowing me to go to her and ask for some lab equipment. I was so egoistic that I even skipped one day’s work for having been unsuccessful at finding Tryptone and determined not to ask her where it could be!

What I didn’t see was that she got angry at me because she loved me. She wanted me to be social even with people who tend to irritate me and to learn to keep my cool. I didn’t see that and she didn’t talk to me. Then today, I was reading The Fountainhead by Ann Rand and a line written there inspired me to shed off my ego and to reach to her. Something in that book also reminded me of one of my talks with a cute friend of mine who once said – Unless we leave behind our egos, we can’t move ahead. That was it. I messaged my sis that I wish to have lunch with her in presence of that particular company and what I got is a cheerful affirmation that too with a cute smile.

I felt light… and only then I realized that I was carrying a burden.. burden of my ego!

Lessons Learnt:

1. Kill your ego before it kills you
2. If you get an inspiration to do something which otherwise you’ll feel too heavyheaded to do, don’t miss the moment!
3. Don’t get angry at people who get angry at your bad habits for only they are the people who truly love you

_______________________________________

26/Jan/2009, Chandigarh

I believe: Love people, help people and care for them but never expect anything from anyone, either in return or otherwise. Best way to stay happy is to never expect anything from others and from your life. Work for what you wish to have. You’ll get what you deserve. If you don’t get something you worked for, don’t get disheartened. Everything has a right time. You’ll still get what you deserve. If you still don’t get it, you probably didn’t deserve it but still do not get disheartened – atleast you tried. Its better to fail than failing to attempt.

________________________________________

20/Jan/2009, Chandigarh

Few day back, I was standing at a Bus stop in Panchkula where I saw an elderly lady on the road, wearing shattered clothes and a a polythene bag full of dirty rice mixed with potatoes in her hands. She was skimming through the curry to lay her fingers on eatable stuff. I don’t know what came came to my mind and I went to her and gave her a 20 rupee note. She threw it back and gave me a dirty glare. At once, I knew I had made a mistake. I had made one of the worst mistakes of hurting her self-respect! She was not begging for money. From her appearence and actions, I just assumed it myself that she needed money but she was not at all asking for it!

Lesson learnt:

1. Never make assumptions about anyone.
2. Never hurt someone’s self-respect. Even though you may intend to help someone but without explicit request for help, you may end up hurting their self-respect!

_________________________________________

10/Dec/2008, Chandigarh

My genius sis sent me this is the text of the Commencement address by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, delivered on June 12, 2005. Its pretty straightforward:

“No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

_________________________________________

July 18 2008, Chandigarh

Today, I was discussing a potential project for dissertation with my guide when he asked me to use Drosophila for the experiments. As he might have expected, I was adamant on my usual position – No Animal models! He told me a little story which was truely thought provoking, here it goes:

Some centuries back, there was a person of exceptional holiness called Chaitanya’ Mahaprabhu in Bengal. He had 2 learned followers – Sanatan and Gaur. They both practised the Altruistic way of life and taught the same to their students who lived in their Gurukuls - schools of knowledge where students lived under the care of their Guru, their teacher & mentor.

Once, a pundit who had beaten many scholars in Shastra-tark (debates on Vedas and other scholarly books of the time) came challenging both Sanatan and Gaur to enter into debate with him. They refused and merely said – You won. We don’t want to enter into debates. That inflated the already billowed up egos of that pundit and he insulted Gaur in front of one of his students – Srijeev who got angry and entered into debate with the pundit and won easily.

When his teacher Gaur got to know about this, he was very angry on Srijeev for he expected him not to be egoistic about his knowledge. He expelled him from the Gurukul. When Sanatan got to know about this, he tried to reason with Gaur to not to expel Srijeev from the school but Gaur remained adamant that He didn’t teach his students to be egoistic about their knowledge. He repeatedly said - I could have beaten that pundit myself but I am not egoistic about my knowledge and thats why I didn’t enter into debate with him!

At this, Sanatan just told him one line – You are being proud for not being egoistic but in a sense, this is also an ego!

The take home message for me was that while he appreciated the concern for animal suffering and killing, I should never be adamantly proud over this for this may seed in a self-appreciative point of view that may inflate egos which would certainly be bad for me to rise intellectually high.

I really appreciate his telling me this for little talks like this are truely vital lessons that a real mentor teaches his/her students which add to their personality and their lives…  

————————————————————–

July 20 2008, Chandigarh

I look around myself and I see everyone else rushing through this world to achieve greatness, to be something, to make his/her mark. I see my friends spending days and nights to score big marks, to get great jobs, to rise high in their jobs and on and on… Willingly, I make myself a part of this mad race but then a small poem arrived in my inbox one day and shook me up thoroughly. I want to share that poem with all of you, kindly have a look at this poem by an unknown author:

I was a just-born and she was Twenty-Five,
Though we were we, we were one.
I would cry out in Latin and she would respond in Greek,
I would learn nothing but she never got tired to teach.

I was surrounded by monsters eager to pull my cheek,
but they would vanish the moment i was wet and weep.
She would come running and hold me in her arms,
as if i had won the contest of the charms.

Now I was able to walk and chew,
hey, i was two.
I and she could now understand each other,
i was her everything and she needed no other.

I would try to walk and fall down,
But knowing she was with me, the fear of getting hurt was now gone.
We still could not converse that effectively,
But she would understand my needs so easily.

I could now roam about free,
because now i have turned three.
I was ready to join a new world,
my academic life was now gonna mould.

She would dress me as best as a prince,
but when i would come back, she would need at least an hour to rinse.
I was now able to talk,
I was a ferry and she was my dock.

I still remember the child, whose shirt I had tore,
Hey buddy, i have turned four.
I now came home a little late,
Nevertheless finding her waiting at the gate.
She would hug me and carry me in her arms,
it felt like flying through the farms.
We now did the homework together,
i would spoil the home and she used to work.

Years passed and now i was fifteen, and with each year i would forget to
lean.
I wouldn’t care for what she said, because now i had become mean.
She would ask me to study for a good future,
but i was busy in a different culture.
Now i had many shes in my life,
i dreamed of having one of them as my wife.

I changed a lot which she did not teach,
She would try to hug me but i was out of reach.
She still waited for me at the gate,
but i would look at her with utmost hate.
She would be awake till late in the night,
because i wasn’t home, i was in a fight.
She had so much to scold, but she never did say,
hoping to find me better the next day.
Time went on and now i am grown,
lost in the world of my own.

I and she, between us have a river,
I have left her for my career.
When i was young, for me, she sacrificed her ambitions,
but i don’t care, i now have my own mission.
I am not with her now, i am in a different city,
she is so old now but i don’t even pity.

She needs me now but i am nowhere to find,
in the race for appraisal, i have become blind.
In a few years from now, i will be two,
there will be in my life someone new.
Then i’ll forget even to bother,
i am her son and she is my Mother

________________________________________